Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Apathetic
Almost 3 AM in the morning and I'm back with another post. I should be sleeping by now considering the constant thumps in my head since the past few hours. Probably resulting from me, being sleeping like a dead baby after Maghrib just now :/
These few days were horrible, I must say. So much has happened and I don't bother telling you all in here. I used to spill everything to people or places like this. But I just don't anymore. I need real people. A real figure to hug or a real shoulder to lean when I drown myself into tears.
I know myself better. Today I may be sad, I may say the worst words, I may say I hate you, I may start losing hope. But tomorrow, I will be the happiest, I will utter the best advice, I may love you even more and most importantly, I will keep my head up high in the cloud and smile.
Smile.
You'll be surprise to know what a smile can hide.
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1 comment:
Haha. I really need to talk to you. Not to flirt or get you back, but to comfort you, to ease your burden, share your problems and I really don't like to see you sad. I really don't. Haha freaky xD
I don't think I really know the situation you've been through and you might think something like; "Asal before this tanak tego? Why after all this happened baru nak tego"? (Knowing you, I doubt you'll think like that xD) or something like that.
Remember how hard it is for me to move on last year? Yeah. I stopped talking, stalking, knowing you. I start ignoring and try to move on. I don’t like you, but I never hate you.
Well, here comes the pathetic part xD You see, I tried to date 5-6 girls last year (I think you know 3 or 4 of them). Knowing I can't commit to the relationship and knowing they started to like me, it scares me. Yes I do flirts with them but I never expect anything in return. So there's this one girl, she's almost everything I need in a girl; we've been close to each other for several months. I freaked out when I noticed she started to like me. I don't know what to do. Later, I update "SFNZ" (you know who. I'll tell you about this later on) as my blackberry status, then she said "Haha you suka dia ke?". I went numb; I told her it was a silly crush. Since then, she started to ignore and avoiding me. Yeah, once a girl knows about your feelings towards them, they'll flee.
About SFNZ, yes, I really like her. But I never expect anything in return. She's aware of it. Haha xD
I don't know why I'm telling you this xD Maybe because I don't have anyone else to share my problems with anymore xD haha I know it’s pathetic and really freaky.
Oh btw, I actually wrote a letter for you every month (since jun 2010- march 2011) I wrote everything I want to tell you but afraid to do so. Well, that's another freaky thing about me xD
I really don't care who you're with now, as long as you're happy, I'm way happier than you.
I can write another 5+ paragraphs, but that's not necessary and I'm writing this at my office xD
I'm sorry.
- from you-know-who
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